panaginip

wala na akong masyadong maalala nung pagkagising ko. basta ang naalala ko na lang, isinauli mo iyong ibang gamit ko na naiwan sayo. sa totoong buhay, damit lang ang nakuha ko, pero sa paniginip ko, may sulat. may sulat akong nakita doon..alam kong sayo galing yun dahil pentel pen ang ginamit sa pagsulat sa isang pilas ng papel ng notebook. pinipilit kong alalahanin kung ano ang nakasulat doon. sa panaginip ko, hindi ko maintindihan. pero nararamdaman ko, tungkol iyon sa nararamdaman mo. sana kung tungkol man iyon sa pagbalik mo, wag mo nang patagalin...wag mo na akong pahirapan..kasi hindi ko na kaya...pero kinakaya ko pa. pinipilit kong kayanin dahil ayoko pang bumitiw

dating gawi

Sa tagal nang hindi ako nadadaan sa Resto...(ung dating pinapasukan ko bilang kahero..) biglaang pinatawag ako para magbantay. Graduation kasi nung anak ni Lola...kaya ako muna pinapunta..Pambihira, sari-saring komento natanggap ko. Sabi nung iba, pumuti ako, meron namang umitim daw. Meron pa nga tumaba daw ako samantalang may kasasabi lang na pumayat ako. =).. weird. Natatawa ako sa sarili ko kasi kahit ako naninibago sa pagkakaha... Nakalimutan ko nang magbawas kapag senior citizen. Tawanan kami nung isang waiter.

It was just one ordinary day when I realized, na ang daming tao. Malayo sa araw noong nagduduty pa ako doon. Naalala ko, kakulitan ko pa ang mga tauhan noon. Maingay kami kahit maraming customers. Naalala ko pa madalas kaming mag meeting. Tuwang tuwa sila kapag may pa-pizza ako sa kanila.. First time lang daw nila kasi naranasan yun. Mejo bata-bata pa ang mga mukha nila nun.. pero ngayon, nakikita na sa mga mukha nila and marka ng pagod at paghihirap sa buhay.

Marami ang nagbago doon. May iba pa siguro akong hindi napapansin.. pero ang alam ko marami. Pero sa isang banda, marami man ang nakakapanibago, may iisang bagay akong hindi nakakalimutan.

Noon kasi, kahit minsan lang mangyari, bago matapos ang duty ko, mayroong pumupunta doon. Dinadaanan ako para may kasabay akong umuwi. Parang sinusundo. Paglabas ko ng resto, alam ko na kung saan ako tutungo, doon...doon sa may ihawan ng barbecue. Paborito nya kasi yung inihaw na hotdog. Sa tuwing hihintayin nya ako sa labas, andun sya tumatambay malapit. Magpapapak. Ako naman, makikihingi. Hanggang sa makahiligan ko na rin kung ano ang paborito nya.

Masaya kami noon. Nilalakad lang namin pauwi kasi malapit lang ang tinitirhan ko papasok sa trabaho. Kahit pagod ako, masaya ako, hindi ko nga naiisip na pagod ako kasi kasama ko sya.

Ang pinakamasarap sa buhay ko noon, iyong paguwi ko sa bahay, alam ko ng naroon sya naghihintay sa paguwi ko. May bitbit akong pasalubong, sabay naming pagsasaluhan ang init ng pagkain. Sabay kaming nagdarasal para magpasalamat at humingi ng tawad sa mga pagkukulang namin sa tagapaglikha. Pagkatapos, maya-maya magpapahinga na kami. Alam mo iyong pakiramdam na yakap niya lang ako, nakayakap lang sa akin kahit amoy kusina ako. Iyong pakiramdam na akin na akin siya. Tapos walang masasayang na sandali kasi pag nakayakap na siya sa akin, nakaktulog na agad ako. Maalimpungatan man ako, andyan pa rin sya nakayakap sa kin. At ako rin sa kanya.

Gigising kami, paguusapan namin mga plano sa buhay. May listahan pa nga sya noon. Natutuwa ako kasi ako noong plano sa buhay, unti unting natututo dahil natuturuanniya ako sa buhay. Isa sa mga dahilan kung ako lalong nagmahal sa kanya. Kung tutuusin marami kaming problema, lingid sa kaalaman ng nakakarami, kahit madalas kaming magkasama, ay may mga tampuhan at hindi pagkakaintindihang namumuo saming dalawa. Pero sa akin, hindi ko pinanghahawakan iyon para talikuran siya. Minsan ko nang sinabi na aalagaan ko ung blessing na binigay niya sa akin, si Lord. Ang sabi ko pa sa kanya noon, handa ako sa lahat ng pagdadanan naming dalawa kasi ganun naman talaga ang nagmamahalan, hindi bumibitiw. Naniniwala kasi ako sa taas. Kaya naniniwala ako sa ibinigay niya. Marami pang magagandang nangyari sa buhay ko nung kasama ko siya...marami kang matututunan.

Sa ikli ng kwentong ito...oras ang itinakbo ng segundo sa isip ko sa sarap ng paggunita sa taong pinangarap ko..paulit-ulit. Paulit-ulit.

life life life

I'm half way better than yesterday. no headaches...no qing...no stress...just a bit of cough.. but i'm fine..it's really important to have a good and enough sleep. I think this is somehow in line with the best medicine in the world which is smiling and laughing. Why? because even if you keep on smiling or laughing everyday but you lack sleep, you're still prone to stress, fatigue, and low energy. Laughing is not about showing the world that you're happy but letting them know that you really feel better inside and out.

Taking supplements or vitamins really won't work especially when you lack sleep or don't sleep at all. These are just substitute energy and nutrients that our body needs. Still even if we have plenty of these, our body won't be able to absorb those because our body metabolism is slow, and this will affect our digestion process and soon will lead to sickness. By then, we'll feel tired easily, dizzy, and old.

I had 5 consecutive days of feeling that way but with just one night of complete and good sleep, it turned me to feel healthy and energetic..and good to go. I love my life

sick sick sick

im sick sick sick..i hope not with the love songs... pero weird.. kung kailan sa office lounge ako natutulog para mas makapahinga ako ng maayos...but its getting worse.. im having headache for 4 consecutive days..ang bigat ng mata ko na parang nakalubog sa loob ng skull ko. good thing i don't have fever...mejo masakit nga lang lalamunan..sana gumaling na ako..sana bukas okay na ako

i read them between the lines

for all the stories I've known, there's one story that I'd be happy the most to read over and over again. The title is "us".

empty arms

i have things that I'm not proud of, and you're not there so I can feel proud of myself

i have problems that none of my friends can understand, you should've been here to listen

my teeth are hiding, why can' t be there so I can show them again?

i have worries and fears, can't you be the one to drive away those?

i have falling tears, i want you to be the one wiping them

i can't be happy with someone else, why can't i choose you so i can be

i wanna go somewhere else but i don't have my feet anymore. its you

i had good sleep with pillows around. it could've been better if i have you in my arms

i wanna look good everyday, but its useless with your eyes closed at me

i can't sing well, i lost my guitar. do you know who that is?

i wanna say iloveyou but those ears are now deaf

yeah i can't run nor even hide, and its strange coz even if i can, there's no you to catch and to chase me  and will  shout at me saying, BANG! "i caught you"...i'll bring you home! coz i love you too" and you're my everything

empty arms

where are you my guitar? everyday i'm missing you here in my arms. why did you left me all alone? I can't sing our songs, will you ever come back to me? or will I forever be lonely?

A good story

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.

She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6

It doesn't matter how many times you became patient or became tired or had lost hopes....it's how you've been fighting to keep the person alive in you. I've learned that love fades when you chose it, because you're looking for that perfect person. But a meaningful person won't fade because he'll find ways to make that person perfect for him in the eyes, and all senses. All else fails when you don't know how to accept his failures. Apart from being happy is your faith that will tell you to just hold on because you just need time to see how perfect you are together against the test of time.

what else can we say

i got these calls earlier from our clients asking assistance on how to setup for ppv (pay-per-view) for the event.

what's flattering is that, most of them are Filipinos. Of course i don't need to ask who's their bet. BAU (business as usal) calls flowed smoothly. One of the main sponsors is the AT&T and for sure, a lot will call later for picture freezing. I just hope, they new channel 411 ans helpme. dot, dot... =)... At 9:30 am earlier, I went out of the phone coz i finished my calls. I went up in the pantry for free snacks and LIVE viewing for the manny-clottey fight in the biggest dome in U.S. I never felt any thrill at all. After I took the free snack, I let 30 mins passed by then I decided to go home. It was extremely hot outside. I hate it. Then I almost forgot about the fight. Haha!! when I got home and turned my tv on, i saw "a very special love"..That made me forgt about the whole fight!!! I enjoyed the movie..(there were no pic freezing). Anyway, it's okay. I've heard Manny won..its nothing new and I'm okay with that, even I wasn't able to watch the whole story.

Bottom line, later at shift, we'll have a breath-taking queuing!!! CONGRATS PACMAN.. you will cause us stress later.  =) and you gave us pride

Sometimes, I forget to thank people who made my day happy in simple ways. Sometimes I failed to tell how much I appreciate them for being part of my life no matter what we've gone through. Today, is just another ordinary day for me, but I want it to be special and just to say THANK YOU for being around!!!

999

isang araw... iba na kasama mo dito

isang araw, malamang, iba na rin ka-holding hands mo

isang araw, may iba ka na rin tatawaging, boypren....

pero itong araw na'to..

itong araw na ito...ATIN LANG 'TO  <3

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